..because you're more consumed...

with finding Waldo, Wenda, Mustache and Whitebeard,

than the social gathering happening around you.

"Found Waldo!" -Claudia

"Why can't we find the wizard?!" -Krystal

Finding entertainment in kid's picture books is probably why you're single dot com. 

-C

...because you pass out

on the kitchen floor.

and insist on running into every wall before making it into your room. 

Next Day: 

"Did I puke or was that just a dream?" 

"I don't remember anything" -K

This is most likely why you're single dot com

-C

We Regret to Inform You..

........That this lovely lady Isela is no longer single, and therefore will

no longer be mentioned in this blog.

At least one of us did something right.

Even though she makes goofy faces in little hats.

It's been a good run my friend!

-C

because you explain your underwear as...

being like a cassette tape. It has an A and B side, 

when one side gets dirty you just flip it.

Saying things like that are probably the reasons of why I'm single.

-K

because you look stupid

end of sentence. 

There may be an explanation for this, but the bottom line is...this is probably why you're single.

-K

Because you show up at the bar with a balloon tied around your wrist

and insist on telling everyone it's your birthday.

Not to mention sticking it under your dress to make it look like a pregnant woman

 using her unborn child as a drink rest.

"I stole this from an 80 y/o man!"-Claudia

"Claudia, he gave it to you!"-Krystal

"And then asked for your number."-Isela

All of the above is probably why you're single.

-C

...because you make these faces

while telling a joke.

All my life I've been chubby, my daddy is chubby, my mama is chubby, and even our dog is chubby. One day my daddy asked if I wanted to ride on the motorcycle with him. He kept going faster and faster and faster...

and I was like "slow down daddy!"

It was more funny in the moment... but probably not, so I'm guessing this is why we're single.

-K