..because you're more consumed...

with finding Waldo, Wenda, Mustache and Whitebeard,

than the social gathering happening around you.

"Found Waldo!" -Claudia

"Why can't we find the wizard?!" -Krystal

Finding entertainment in kid's picture books is probably why you're single dot com. 

-C

...because you pass out

on the kitchen floor.

and insist on running into every wall before making it into your room. 

Next Day: 

"Did I puke or was that just a dream?" 

"I don't remember anything" -K

This is most likely why you're single dot com

-C

We Regret to Inform You..

........That this lovely lady Isela is no longer single, and therefore will

no longer be mentioned in this blog.

At least one of us did something right.

Even though she makes goofy faces in little hats.

It's been a good run my friend!

-C

because you explain your underwear as...

being like a cassette tape. It has an A and B side, 

when one side gets dirty you just flip it.

Saying things like that are probably the reasons of why I'm single.

-K

because you look stupid

end of sentence. 

There may be an explanation for this, but the bottom line is...this is probably why you're single.

-K

Because you show up at the bar with a balloon tied around your wrist

and insist on telling everyone it's your birthday.

Not to mention sticking it under your dress to make it look like a pregnant woman

 using her unborn child as a drink rest.

"I stole this from an 80 y/o man!"-Claudia

"Claudia, he gave it to you!"-Krystal

"And then asked for your number."-Isela

All of the above is probably why you're single.

-C

...because you make these faces

while telling a joke.

All my life I've been chubby, my daddy is chubby, my mama is chubby, and even our dog is chubby. One day my daddy asked if I wanted to ride on the motorcycle with him. He kept going faster and faster and faster...

and I was like "slow down daddy!"

It was more funny in the moment... but probably not, so I'm guessing this is why we're single.

-K

...because you go out in public

With monster hands!

OH.. you're an adult... probably why you're single.

-K

...because your wall is decorated

...with your action figures.

Nerd status at a high 10 out of 10.

-K

...because you look like death..

...all day, e'erday.

I know that we live in the Pacific Northwest and all, but most guys prefer girls with a pulse.

(unless you're a necrophiliac) - but who does that?!

XOXO-

C

...because you will bake cookies...

.....For your friends, so they will play D&D with you.

I mean, D&D is cool and all....

if you're a Fremlin.

(or a 14 year old boy with acne)

"I'm going to destroy the shit out of you and you're army with my meteor swarm!"

It's a horrible truth, but I would definitely deem this as a "this is why you're single dot com" kind of moment.

-C

..because you attend

...Harry Potter parties.

"We're muggles!"

-K

Because you pee...

In public like it's no big deal*.

*all faces were blurred to preserve the integrity of those involved.

-C

Because you think forming..

an American Apparel Hoodie human centipede is a rad idea.

-C

because you show up at the bar..

..after an intense doubles match, still in uniform.

"Why are you wearing a tennis outfit?"
"Because, I just came from the country club. It's pretty exclusive, you probably don't have a membership."

hate the game, not the player.

-C

....because even your friends notice why you're single..

That's just nasty honey badger!

-C

...because you pick stuff out of people's teeth

...or get your teeth picked.

Either way, this is probably whyyouresingledotcom. 

-K

.....Because...

(insert explanation here)

"that's weird" 

-C

Because you search for earthworms on the sidewalk...

..and throw them back in the dirt to save them from death by dehydration.

"There's one!  Nope, that's a twig.  There's one! Nope, that's a twig." -Claudia and Isela

"Oligochaeta!!" -Claudia

Bug nerditude is probably why you're single dot com

-C

....because you collect bugs and display them on your wall.

Though butterflies are pretty, displaying them on your wall could be why you're single.

Just sayin. 

-K

....because you tell some guys you have a girlfriend.

To keep the creeps away you tell them you have a girlfriend...

people talk. 

Probablywhyyouresingledotcom

-K

Because you're considering....

........Speed Dating!!!

(And it's too expensive)

-C

...because you smoke

...hookah in a Cosby sweater.

Quotes of the night:

"I wish I was Gandolf so I can blow ships out my mouth". -Isela O.

"Let's just go home and take muscle relaxers and see who can stay up the longest". -Claudia R.

....And that's why you're single dot com.

-K

...because you pretend to...

...be monsters in the dark corner of a bar.

-K

This Is The Beginning...

I guess you could say that this blog is the beginning of an onward journey at realizing why me and my two friends/housemates, Krystal and Isela, three awesome females, are still single (an awareness, if you will).  It all started at our local dive, drinking and having fun, but then turned into a drunken debauchery of us being ridiculous and yelling to the world "This is why you're single dot com".  And then the vision occurred, we will take pictures and document our tomfoolery by making a blog in hopes to someday look back, and hopefully realize what we're doing wrong.  But for now, we will just have a good time, laugh at ourselves, and hope that we can get some people laughing with us (not at us) too.

Sincerely Yours,
Claudia